It is just eight days before I am due to leave Cape Town and fly to Amsterdam for my grandson’s Barmitzvah.   Plans have been ongoing for some months.   Flights have been booked for the family. Accommodation at our destination has been reserved.   For the past few weeks I have been sewing – creating African style yarmulkes for the men to wear at the religious ceremony.

Acting on a Spontaneous Thought

It is seven o’clock in the evening, and eight days before our date of departure.  For some unknown reason, the idea entered my head that I should check the expiry date on my passports.   Having been born in London, I have both a UK Passport and a South African one in addition.     My local document is used for leaving and returning to my home country.   My UK passport allows me to travel freely in Europe without having to go through the rigmarole of acquiring visas, as most of my South African friends and family need to do!

I search for the pouch in which I store my passports and look for the place where the expiry date is recorded.   It takes me some time to locate the information for which I am searching.   What a shock I had when I realised that both my passports are out of date.   I had travelled overseas just over a year ago.   I should have immediately applied for new documents as I was aware of the expiry date of my present passports was very close.   But then I forgot.

Nothing could be done at that Time

You know that sinking feeling you experience in the pit of your stomach when you are suddenly shocked by the rude awakening of disturbing information?    What was going to happen now?   Would I be able to acquire both a temporary South African Passport and a temporary one for the UK in just one short week?

The only research I could undertake at that time of the evening was to do an internet search to see if I could find information about obtaining passports in an emergency situation.   Relevant information eluded me.  I had to give up my search and await the following business day to find out the possibility of acquiring an emergency travel document.

The Following Day

My travel agent Zeenat looked happy to see me as I walked into the Flight Centre to seek her assistance.  When I told her my tale of woe, it was clear she was presented with a problem which was new to her experience.  Probably not many of her clients have a UK passport, and most of them are better organised than I am.

Zeenat examined both my documents and announced some relief for me when she pointed out that my South African passport, in fact, expired only in October 2020.    In my state of anxiety the night before, I had clearly not been thinking straight.   However, the UK passport had expired in July of this year, 2019.

Her first idea was that maybe I could get a Dutch Schengen Visa for my South African passport.   However, the enquiry revealed that as a British Citizen I do not qualify for a Dutch Visa.   That solution was out of the question.

The next phone call was made to the British Embassy.   I listened patiently whilst Zeenat made the first phone call.   A new passport for the UK takes six weeks.   “And, what about a temporary UK document?” Zeenat enquired.   The polite British lady asked her to hold on whilst she made enquiries.

How will this end?

During the wait for her response, my mind was working on what possibilities existed if she came back with a negative response.    My flight ticket would be jeopardised.   My grandson and his parents would be bitterly disappointed.   My carelessness could put a damper on a celebration which had been many months in the planning.   This irresponsible grandmother living in Cape Town would have her good standing in the family tainted.   Maybe many negative vibes would be introduced into our family relationships.

Zeenat’s face started to come alight.    Her telephonic advisor had returned with the relevant information.   I examined her expression and noticed a glimmer of a smile emerge on her face.   Yes, indeed things were looking positive.   It seems that a temporary passport may well be possible.

A Positive Response

And it was with some relief that Zeenat reported to me the details of her conversation.    There is an online form to be filled in for an application for a temporary UK travel document.   We accessed the document on the internet and as we worked through it, my agent filled in the details whilst I supplied the personal information.

The form was filled in online.   Now I needed to pay online.   Yes, I did have my credit card with me.   I did have my previous UK Passport as well.   We can fill in the appropriate number on the form.   All that now remained to be done was to make an appointment online to visit the Embassy and take along my passport photographs.

The online form that we had filled in was ready to be printed.   Payment had been made.   The appointment at the Embassy was in two days time.    All that remained was for me to have passport photos taken – they had to be photos taken within the past four weeks.

The Challenge has been Concluded

Between 7 pm on Monday evening, and 11 am on Tuesday morning I had traversed through a range of emotions.   I had woken that morning thinking I need to acquire two new passports in one week.   And now I was in the position of knowing I would have two suitable documents for my trip that was to take place in seven days.

It was with great relief that I went to the local confectioners to buy Zeenat her favourite Fabiola Tart, give her a hug, and return home with a much lighter feeling than I had when I left a couple of hours ago.

For many years I have been hearing reports from my friends about the ease with which they have coped with cataract operations.   For some reason or other no-one had suggested to me that it may be time for me to undergo the procedure. And, then it happened!

Lost Driver’s Licence

I recently had new glasses made for driving.   I had lost my driver’s licence and in order to obtain a new one, I needed to pass a vision acuity test.    In South Africa many people fail the official test offered by the traffic department.  They are then given a form and sent to a private optician to be retested.   I have never understood why it is that the test offered by the licencing department is not the definitive test.   The answer still remains a mystery to me.

It Happened More than Once

I tend to be somewhat careless when it comes to looking after important documentation, so have needed recently to replace my drivers’ licence on a couple of occasions.   I had on a previously undergone the inconvenience of having to visit the optician and then return to the testing centre with the required certification.   Yes, I had passed this procedure offered free of charge by the profession.

On receipt of my new driving glasses I was somewhat disappointed that my vision when driving was not as sharp as I would have liked.   I consoled myself that maybe I needed a bit of time to get used to the new prescription.   My eyes needed to adapt.   A couple of months later however, I mislaid this new pair of glasses   They were nowhere to be found!

Yet Another Time

Back to the optician, I go to purchase yet another pair.  When I communicated my dissatisfaction with the previous prescription, my consultant suggested that I have my eyes checked with the ophthalmologist for the growth of cataracts.     Maybe I was ready for cataract surgery.  After all, said the consultant, “It is no good making you another set of glasses if you were not happy with the previous ones!”

“Yes,” observed the ophthalmologist after examining the results of numerous mechanical eye tests, “You clearly are more than ready for cataract surgery.”   I wondered why it was I had waited beyond the ideal time to undertake this procedure.   How could I have neglected my vision in this way?    Who am I to blame?   Is it the fault of the medical profession?   Is it my fault?   How could I have been so neglectful?    I have not yet managed to answer that series of questions.

Surgical Ramifications

Surgery was set for the next week.  “It will be a piece of cake,” quoted all my friends and acquaintances.   Well, In fact the operation took 50 minutes instead of the usual 20 minutes.    On my check up visit I learned that due to the delay in my undergoing of the surgery, the lens had become particularly hard, and thus made it more difficult for the surgeon to remove.   Her instruments had to be used on their strongest setting to achieve the desired result!   The usual conscious sedation was not sufficient, and for some time I was fully unconscious during the procedure because of my restlessness.

Applying the Drops

As I live on my own, I had some concern about how I would cope with applying the numerous drops when I was discharged.   Three sets of drop medication were prescribed.   Two needed to be used at one hourly intervals.   I could not ask my neighbour to come in every hour.   Not even, could I expect the nurse from the clinic to come in hourly.   I had to work out how to do the procedure myself.

So sitting in a comfortable chair with my head held back, I used my left hand to form a space for the drop, by stretching my lower lid, held the bottle of medication in my other hand next to my eyebrow.   Using my tactile senses I awaited the landing of the drop in my eye.

Rehabilitation

It all seemed to work.   It is now four days post the operation and I am having fun comparing my vision in the post- operated right eye, with my vision in my non-operated left eye.   What a revelation awaited my experimentation.    The white wall outside my home looked white when I look through the eye which had already undergone the procedure.   Whereas the left eye, yet to have the operation, perceived the wall in a dullish yellowish colour.   A clear demonstration of the effect of the growth of cataracts.

I am optimistically looking forward to a couple of months hence.  I have been promised clear vision for both reading and driving with no need for spectacles!   A pleasure indeed, and much safer for me and all the other road users in this part of the world!

If you want to find out more about cataract surgery, look here

 

Not all of us are the owners of vast financial fortunes. We may not consider ourselves to be wealthy. Some of us may have limited monetary resources. However, each and every person needs to protect their family members by drawing up a Legal Will. Also, more recently, a Living Will has become an essential ancillary document to be considered. It acts as a directive for our families if we should develop a long term terminal condition. A Living Will can save a great deal of emotional turmoil if we should be in a state when we are not of sound mind to make our own decisions.

Making use of Opportunities

So when I heard that a local Care Organisation was offering a presentation from an attorney who specialises in this area of advice giving, I decided it would be a good idea to go along and enhance my awareness of these two relevant documents.

Unexpected Insights

While I have drawn up a will based on the counsel of my Financial Advisor, I had not sought the advice of someone who is professionally trained in the rules and regulations around the drafting of a will, so decided to attend the meeting to enhance my knowledge on this topic.

As it happened, I learned something profound from a member of the audience, Kate Brown of Fiscal Private Client Services, who is a financial planner.  She is particularly focused on tuning into the emotional needs of her clients From Kate I gleaned a thoughtful lesson.  It is so important for professional people who are giving technical advice to be tuned in to the nuances of family relationships.

The South Africa Reality

Many senior South Africans have been called geriatric orphans.   They may have middle aged children who have traversed continents and live together with their offspring all over the world.   The apartheid era which started in this country in the later 40’s was the predominant political perspective for the next 50 years.   Many people growing up during this time were pessimistic about their future in this country.    As a consequence many senior South Africans have their grown up children living in different parts of the world.

So, our senior population may have had three or four children, but because of the prevailing political insecurity most of their offspring may have left the country.   Frequently just one of the children remains behind and this person’s job becomes caring for the ageing parents.

When paying their regular visits to their parents, these ‘overseas’ siblings may well question the ‘local’ sibling who has the caring role.   This could be in the field of finances, or health or any other meaningful supporting function played by the remaining child.

Sensitivity or Role Players

This local sibling is playing the numerous roles which, in different circumstances, may have been shared by all the family members.   The home resident, may feel exploited and becomes hyper-sensitive to any comments made by their visiting relative.    A casual suggestion can easily be misinterpreted as being a criticism of the single overworked care person.

It was in this situation that Kate, as financial planner, pointed out the role played to ease the situation.  This potentially hurtful scenario can be anticipated.  The caring professional can offer a warning to all concerned about possible comments and questions so that each player can be sensitised to the possibility that a casual, well-intentioned remark will not be unnecessarily received as a criticism.   In this case a warning offered in anticipation may be of great assistance.

Living Will

There were many questions asked about the validity of a Living Will. Each country will have its regulations regarding this document.  However, if you live in South Africa then a model document is obtainable on the internet from this site

There are five good reasons why a Living Will has become important for all senior citizens to consider in this era of advanced medical knowledge.

  1. It allows everyone to make his or her intentions known at a stage when they are still lucid. A statement as to whether or not you wish to be kept on artificial life support may well be appreciated by your family if you should in the future lose your ability to make decisions for yourself.
  2. You will save your close relations from having to debate whether or not to prolong your life artificially. This document may protect them from many emotionally straining discussions.
  3. It will ensure that excessive expenditure is avoided to extend your life if this is not your wish.
  4. You can make your own decision as to whether or not you would like your organs to be offered for saving the lives of other patients.
  5. Making a Living Will protects you from worrying about what may happen if you become unable to make decisions for yourself. This document can bring you peace of mind.

The Role of Professionals

A chat with the attendees at the end of this productive session of current advice left me feeling more confident of making plans for any potential end of life scenario I may experience.

I felt grateful to be in the company of some wise professionals who can offer guidance in a caring and non-judgemental manner.

 

Chantell Ilbury is considered to be one of Africa’s most creative strategic thinkers.    This modest and attractive young woman spoke at a meeting under the banner of the Cape Town University of the Third Age, at our local Baxter Theatre.

Scenario Planning

What a treat it was! Chantell is consulted by major companies all over the world, who seek her advice on the possible happenings in the realm of scenario planning. In this role, she makes predictions about the most significant changes that are likely to happen in the next five years in all fields of human endeavour. She is consulted by major businesses all over the world to advise them on the way forward.

Chantell shared with us some of the ‘flags’, she and her partner Clem Sunter study in their role as scenario planners. They make predictions about the most significant changes that are likely to happen in the next five years in all fields of human endeavour.

The Flags 

  1. The Religious Flag: The biggest danger to watch is Iran. If this country should follow through with any of its aggressive threats to attack Israel or the USA, then the price of oil will be heavily implicated.
  2. Trade War Flag: They need to watch what is going on between the USA and China, each of whom wishes to dominate in this arena.
  3. Environmental Flag: We are already seeing dramatic floods, heatwaves and droughts, yet the denialism of President Trump needs to be monitored. The role of young people is proving significant in this area.
  4. The Ageing Flag: This is described as a ‘clockwork’ feature – it moves steadily in one direction. The proportion of aged in the populations can be monitored and is becoming greater, and this creates a burden on the younger generations
  5. Anti-Establishment Flag: We are going through a stage of Populism, where the elite are being maligned. The role of President Trump in the USA  and Boris Johnson in Britain are taking the Western World into this somewhat regressive posture.
  6. The National Debt: Today this figure is increasing, and many of the world’s leading countries carry a foreign debt of over 60%

What about Africa

Chantell informed us of the aspirations of the African continent. I learned about the African Union Agenda for 2063, which envisions an integrated and prosperous merger of member states during the next couple of decades. This bold aspiration is planned to commence with an economic merger. It is hoped that the warring factions will be silenced and the 54 countries of Africa will have initiated a range of co-operative ventures across the board.

In fact the front page of today’s daily newspaper Cape Times carries news of the 2019 World Economic Forum (WEF) which opens for a three day conference in Cape Town today.   Over 1000 delegates, global leaders in government, business and civil society, have gathered to explore the creation of inclusive sustainable growth for the countries of Africa.

Education

Chantell Ilbury, together with Clem Sunter are in the process of visualising an educational strategy for high school students. They feel that too much attention is given to learning factual material, and not enough to encourage the thinking strategies of today’s young people.

Isiah Berlin was a prominent philosopher at Oxford University when Clem studied there in the 1960s. He wrote a book which he called The Hedgehog and the Fox. This title was based on a quotation of the Greek poet Archilocus nearly 2700 years ago who realised, “The fox knows many little things, the hedgehog one big thing”. Scenario planners fall into the category of foxes. They are able to adapt their preferences according to prevailing conditions. Surely this demands a fresh educational perspective! This is what this talented duo are fostering in this rapidly changing world.

Charles Darwin spoke about the “Survival of the Fittest” This does not refer to the strongest members of society, but to those individuals who are able to adapt to changing circumstances. The species who were able to make rapid changes in a competitive environment are those who will stay ahead of the game. Our world is changing faster and faster as each year passes. I remember being fascinated by a course I studied in the 1950s about Social Change. We were told even then that technology changes faster than our ability to absorb the changes. How much more significant is that concept today. Social media influences need to be monitored by citizens with flexible minds who can adapt to the ever-evolving technological innovations.

Karl Popper divided the world’s phenomena into ‘clocks’ which could be analysed according to the parts which move and are relatively predictable, and the ‘clouds’. The latter category tends to be random events which follow no rules. Children need to understand the relative effect of both these types of events

David Hume is remembered for his 18th century postulation, “Reason is the slave of passion”. The earlier that children understand the difference between our conscious and our unconscious motivation, the better their chances of thriving in today’s world.

The partners in scenario planning have already introduced this program called “Growing Foxes” in a private school in London.  They are now negotiating for their program to be introduced into South African Schools.

It was indeed encouraging to learn about this relevant and creative approach to emphasising contemporary, relevant criteria within the field of pedagogics. It promises to assist our youngest generation to make better decisions about their own lives. In addition, they are helped to make well reasoned decisions regarding the ecological impacts of today’s lifestyle.

In Conclusion

It was most reassuring to learn these two progressive thinkers are prioritising a sustainable educational policy for today’s youth. May there be more practical and academic participants performing this crucial role of educating the youth, and advising on future scenario planning.

I had planned to concentrate on doing my weekly blog post first thing this morning. Not to become diverted by any other chores. However, it is now two hours later, and I have not yet started on my noble intention.

Some Diversions

Checking up on Croquet Result

Against my better judgement, I took a sneak preview of my inbox. No, I would not open any emails, but I would just check in case there is something personal requiring an urgent response. My goodness me – here are the results from the Croquet Tournament I participated in on Sunday morning. I must just check in here quickly.

This competition takes place over four months – one session happening on the last Sunday morning of the month from June to September. It is crucial for me to take a sneak preview of how the 16 competitors fared in the 90 matches which have been played thus far. Results have come in for the three sessions that have now taken place.

How am I doing? Unfortunately, not too well! There seems to be an error here, so just a quick email to Judy to check she has added all the results correctly! And, a double check I have not misinterpreted her score table. I had better make a print out of this complicated score sheet.  It will make it easier for me to study these multiple recorded scores.

What does Ellen Want

Then I must just find out what this woman Ellen is all about. Her name caught my attention when I snatched a quick review of incoming emails. Yes, she had sent me 3 free PDF’s – instructions about how to become a better blogger. She is now telling me that if I read them, let her know which is the most useful to me, I will then get a free consultation worth $97! I am so tempted to go and skim them. But no, I will restrain myself.

The Phone now Interrupts

Now there is a phone call. “Can I come and fill in at a bridge game this afternoon,” queries the caller. “Sorry,” I respond, “I have a commitment with my granddaughter this afternoon.” “Oh,” says my inviter, “I was just phoning anybody because someone dropped out of the bridge game this morning.”

Now I am really distressed. What does she mean by ‘anybody?’ I always thought I was ‘somebody’ and now I am being told I am ‘anybody’. Do I need to respond to this unconscious derogatory judgement from my caller?   Maybe I will let it pass.

Back to Blogging

I have been exploring the blogging scene for the past six months. No great results. Nothing too bad, either. I am trying to master Facebook in order to grow my following and have roped in my daughter’s young administrative assistant, to teach me how to integrate the Social Media into my repertoire of skills. Whew! It is quite a journey.

Facebook Challenges

How do people just pick up these skills and this knowledge?   Is it by trial and error? For me, it is far from intuitive. If truth were told, it is quite a slog. But then, this is all part of my aspirational lifestyle. I cannot preach the story about taking on new challenges if I personally shirk those opportunities. As a result of this blogging venture, I now have not only a personal Facebook page but A Mind of Grace page on Facebook, as well.  According to my teacher, I need to update these pages every day with enticing material. I need to like a whole bunch of new people. I have to respond to comments. I must comment on the blogs of other contributors. I need to update my profile. I must check up what people in my niche are doing. And, I thought this was going to be fun!

And Instagram as Well!

Now, my teacher wants me to become Instagram enabled, as well. Is it not enough that I use WhatsApp, and Facebook, and Blog? “No,” she says, “You need to use Instagram. That is where you need to be.” To use Instagram, you need to upload pictures from your cellphone. Now, that is a new activity for me. I can upload pictures from my computer, but for this social medium, I need to send them from my cellphone to the computer.

Skills New and Old

While I learned to touch-type 60 years ago, and can probably do about 40 words a minute on the keyboard, on the tiny cellphone, I can only input about 10 words a minute. This is excruciatingly painful. It is one thing to practice my croquet shots in order to improve my game, but do I now have to practice inputting data on my cellphone with my two thumbs? I suppose that is something for me to practice when I am in the bank waiting for my number to be called!

This is what Keeps me Going

Looking on the bright side, something exciting happened at 9pm last night. When checking my emails, I learned that the experimental blog I sent to Thrive Global has been accepted. So there I saw my piece on the prestigious site which is run by Adrianna Huffington.

My mamma may not be impressed, and my dadda may not be impressed, but I was pretty excited with this news. This exhilaration was because having been featured on Thrive Global I was being offered the facility to link my post on WhatsApp to my multiple contacts. Now, that was going to be fun. While it is not so great transferring data from WhatsApp to the computer, the reverse procedure was sure worthwhile. And, all I had to do was to follow the instructions sent by Thrive Global which were detailed on my screen.

Sometimes I become Over-excited!

I think I may have overdone it as the link was sent to all and sundry. Yes, the life of a blogger is not lacking in incident. The disappointment of not growing my list as fast as I would like to. The knowledge that I have so much to learn and master to be a ‘successful’ blogger. I need to create sales funnels, free offers, and lessons, and do surveys. The list does not end.

Completion

But, I have now written my morning blog! I have my first piece up on a prestigious website. So I am off to see the physiotherapist for treatment of my upper arm. This is an injury that has kept me off the tennis court for the past month. But, I will be back playing tennis soon as long as I am up-to-date with my blogging time-table!

The term antifragility was introduced into the English language by Nassim Taleb when writing his book of the same name which appeared in 2013.   I was somewhat chuffed to learn about this concept as it verified an observation I had made some 50 years ago.

My Observation

It was in the early days of my marriage.  Divorce was not nearly as common as it is today. Despite this fact, I did have within my social circle, sufficient acquaintances who had decided to terminate their marriage. I remember giving some thought to the fate of children whose parents divorced when they were still young.   I had noticed that the children of my friends who emerged from a family of divorce were either better adjusted psychologically than the average child, or had a greater number of psychological difficulties than the most of their peers.

An example of Antifragility

How does this relate to antifragility, you may ask?  To understand this term, we need first to understand that things such as glass objects are fragile, while articles made of steel are strong and robust.  But, what do we call something which grows in strength when offered a series of moderate setbacks?   This is what antifragility is all about.   Interestingly enough Taleb recognised this condition in the banking system when he was a successful investor and studied the ups and downs of the stock market.

Psychological and Physiological Antifragility

I am, however, more interested in how the term anti-fragility helps us to understand both psychological behaviour and the physiology of the body.  Small struggles of the mind and body tend to make us stronger.   If your muscles are not used they become weaker.  If our muscles are overused they are damaged.  But if our muscles are used a little bit more each day, or each week , they then grow stronger.  The same can be said of the immune system.  A few germs in the environment are necessary for the development of immunity.

Returning to my Early Experience

To return to my observation of many years ago, I now have an interpretation for this early hypothesis.  If the amount of stress of their parent’s divorce is handled optimally, the children can emerge with greater resilience; they become antifragile.  However, if the stress of the divorce procedure is beyond the capacity of the child to process, then that child will suffer emotional damage.

Resilience and Antifragility

Linda Graham is an American psychologist who has written a brilliant book on resilience. She describes resilience as the learned capacity to cope with adversity. Developing resilience over one’s lifespan illustrates the concept of anti-fragility. Graham in her latest weekly blog was referenced a book written by Johnathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff called the Coddling of the American Mind In this book, the authors document how child-rearing practices in America are overprotecting growing children. Parents are not allowing them to experience the challenges which have been a traditional part of growing up.

Over-protection

Today parents are so concerned about the physical safety of their children that there is a tendency to overprotect them. As a result, today children in cities have to be under parental protection 24 hours a day.  Children are no longer allowed to be on the streets without adult supervision.  Parents can be punished for allowing their children to participate in activities that the current law considers to be dangerous.  Thus a child cannot be allowed to go to the corner shop to buy a pint of milk or a loaf of bread.  The growing child does not participate in the tasks which allow them to develop their independence. Several decades ago, a child reared in the city could go to visit friends in the local neighbourhood, play in the streets, or make their way to the park without adult supervision.   Today these growth experiences are denied because of what many people perceive as over-protective regulations.

A Commencement Speech

The benefits of encouraging an antifragile lifestyle are beautifully illustrated in the words of John Roberts, Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, in his commencement speech to his son’s middle school:

He said, “From time to time in the years to come:

  • I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice.
  • I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty.
  • Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. ·
  • I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and the failure of others is not completely deserved either.  ·
  • I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion.
  • Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”

The Reader’s Contribution

Would you like to share your experience of the role of antifragility in your own life?  Let the other readers know how you have benefitted from the challenges you have overcome. How you have emerged with greater strength?